Relationship Status: complicated

This has become a bit of a book blog. I want to write about something else. An old fashion journal from dreamweaver days.

The meeting point of demand and supply of my work is largely what people term as boring administrative crap.

I can’t defend that accusation. What makes it occasionally interesting is those times when I get to do something out of the ordinary. Special workshops, scenarios testing, unusual ways to look at risk. I totally love it. I have accepted it is few and far in between. I do admit that my work isn’t for everyone. That’s why none of the others in my job move around. They grow old in this job. I wasn’t ready to grow old in this job.

As I pack up my departmental files, I opened one of the arch files. I was preparing for a desk relocation and my handover. It was typical boring administrative crap.

I noticed the love and labour. It was a document that is signed and filed away, never to be read – only glanced at as part of an audit checklist. I had set up that template – I filled it up and more. I was in my element. I didn’t care it might never be read. I quickly put that away because I was going to cry at work.

There were randomly misfiled documents. I opened another arch file to shove it in. I read another document. I can generate such volumes, really, I thought.

I saw the care and consideration for the HODs that I service. I have never thought that I cared for all these HODs. They were my customers. I was even annoyed with them sometimes. I thought I only cared about the risk HODs whom I have helped for a long time. We were a team, them and I. We help each other.

I have left another organisation prior to this. I did not feel then, there were different layers of feelings about work. My friend more experienced with feelings said wisely, you will miss them, they will miss you. These feelings will fade after a while.

And you know, I am not even leaving the building. I continue to the organisation that I am leaving. These feelings – I cannot compute.