Category / Work

by Eileen 配仪

If I have too much money

I was in the lift alone at first. At level 10 a man and a woman entered saying loud goodbyes to the crowd outside. Their conversation suddenly dropped to a low voice. The man asked when is retirement for her. By then their voices turn to a whisper. I was in the lift hearing my ears straining at every word. She said, when I can buy an apartment for my son. There was a pause. He looked at her. She barked a short laugh and explained it is a Chinese culture.

The lift door opened at ground floor. They exited and went out of the turnstile, biding farewell in booming cheery voices.

If I am rich at incredibly stupid levels – in that I mean when I look at my bank account my intelligence drops by double digit points yet sales people still fawn on me and laugh at my jokes – I still won’t buy a property in Singapore as part of my portfolio.

I love real estate but the burden of having to clean and upkeep one, to have it trashed by tenants, to have rules changed suddenly and implemented overnight is a major deterrent.

by Eileen 配仪

Nonsense

<I was moaning about having to present that day.>

Family: Uh, does your presentation drives strategic decisions that will increase revenue by 15% yoy??

Me: My presentation increases pencil consumption by 23% out of my dept alone.

Globally that number rises to 36%.

To sustain the growth we have planted new forests across deserts in Africa.

Africans love the shade from the trees.

<Lots of lol lol lol later, family continues to grill>

Family: Why are you not installing solar panels around?

Me: In my last iteration of my next presentation, we are planning the implementation of innovative energy solutions using solar panels to generate hot air.

by Eileen 配仪

   Pick Me!

It was not enough that some colleagues said they really loved my idea. It was not enough that the beneficiary also agreed it was interesting.

I despised the word interesting. A horrid word that looks like a compliment. She is such an interesting person! (Too bad, she looks like that.)

Too many times, too many times.

It was neccessary that mine was picked.