Mature teams

Death, for example, is socially disruptive, because it not only removes an individual member from the fabric of society, which potentially creates tension, it is also stressful for those with close emotional ties to the deceased, who may not be able to function efficiently for a period of time.

Religion deals with the problem of death through both belief and ritual: a belief in the afterlife (common in many cultures) denies the fact of death and comforts the bereaved, while the funeral ceremony offers a chance for other members of society to comfort the bereaved with their physical presence and it may also act as a form of catharsis.

The funeral is effectively an expression of social solidarity which serves to reintegrate society following the ‘stress’ caused by a loss of one its members.

Rituals In Death

We had some rites for Grandmother yesterday. I was impressed how smooth the team operated.

The team of priests and musicians were old and they worked efficiently, taking and handing over when the situation fit. There was an assistant to the priest who seemed to require reminders by the team. The musicians, alert, came to his aid by mouthing instructions or gesturing. Set up and removal of the altar tables appeared seamless in their construction and take down. I would not be familiar with the details of their job (the chanting and the rituals). I could see this was a stable team with the leader being the one who supplemented directions (slightly annoyed tone) to the team where required. They were so smooth in their procedures I felt reminded of my job. This is what established departments look like. There is seamless handling by every member of the team. Where there are new staff, the rest of the members sprang into action to advice the new staff, to socialise what needs to be done.

When teams have an elevated number of new persons who need socialising, the resources and effort spent in socialising them increases. It is not an easy task to socialise staff even if the staff is open and receptive. It requires a lot of conversation to calibrate the staff into the existing way the team thinks and works. The level of difficulty increases when the staff is neutral or unreceptive. (Usually, they get labelled as having an attitude problem.) If the head of the team is new, it increases the difficulty of calibration. The calibration is necessary to reduce production problems in a team. When the head of the team is new, problems get magnified. Heads are less receptive of calibration in general and they can create more chaos by issuing directives when they have not been properly calibrated. Now do I mean that everyone should be yes men and do as they are told all the time? If the issues are production driven, yes, we all need to be able to follow those instructions. If change is required, it needs to be managed.

Now I know that makes me sound bureaucratic but in an organisation, where there are processes already built to handle certain aspects of risk, change requires care. Given the fast pace change in the business circumstances, the ability to nimbly handle them requires a well settled team who is familiar with their work. In chaos, there must be order (to support growth). In order, there must be chaos (to drive growth).

On a side note, I think this blanketing of other risks as operational risk by Basel isn’t very helpful to think about risk properly.

It creates a lot of misuse in the word risk. Someone would declare the presence of risk when they mean error or impact. Language is alive and different cultures use the lingo in different ways. I am not pedantic and it’s not difficult to figure out what the meaning from context and conversation. However, I wonder if it drives the conversation and thinking differently. Being error free means less wastage – it’s a production concern. Being able to cushion impact means the ability to recover and resume operations quickly – another production concern. These production concerns are something that has everyday processes and handling to manage them. A break in controls is a production problem, ie, the operational factors. Production problems must be fixed but it is impossible for production problems to be eliminated. You could bring the number to a very small occurrence but zero is impossible. I wonder if conversations are brought awry when we talk about levels of intolerance in operational risk. It’s at most an ambition, at worse a denial.

This leads me to wonder, if this is a fuzzy concept to measure management. If so, the collection of operational risk data is something to reflects the management at the point of measurement. It can never be forward looking and looking back makes no sense if there are upheavals in management.

MOE Resource Library

I was helping the older child log into his Student Learning portal. I mucked about the site and discovered they is additional learning resources. They have them for most subjects. The kids were fighting me on the laptop to try out the activities. I think they can do this all day if I let them.

On family life

I enjoyed the personal eulogies delivered by family of the former PM Lee Kuan Yew. It was interesting to subtract the politics from the old man. Of all the eulogies, Dr Lee Wei Ling’s was the most well written. She has a great voice. Nobody came close to expressing the intimacy in the family, or the heartfelt appreciation to the people who cared for her Dad. It was so distinct from her brothers and her nephews, whose version of family life felt as if he was there but not really there. (Of course, there was his job.)
In re reading their eulogies for their mom, I felt that the brothers’ eulogies were a better read than their sister’s. It felt like Dr Lee drifted away from her mom after childhood ended while Hsien Yang tried to pull their family closer.

I wonder if who was the favourite child. Were they hard to manage as kids being so clever all of them? Did they have favourite parent moments? To do activity X, ask Mama. To do activity Y, ask Papa. How do they resolve unfairness amongst themselves – is Hsien Loong the mediator? Is Hsien Yang the party organiser? I wonder how they felt when they found out about their parent’s secret marriage from a memoir. I think in normal households they would have talked amongst themselves. (“Why didn’t they say anything? An abortion? TSK!” etc). I’m not in their universe, it strikes me as unusual that as PM’s children they were “in every danger of being spoilt, indulged, and led astray”. Why would they be in more danger than other kids? I had thought that in the matter of being led astray, they would be well protected from it – having 24 hour supervision from school to home. I wonder if it could be the rationalisation for their deprived and perhaps overly strict childhood. If they had friends, I suppose they are carefully vetted to avoid trouble. Personal life must be hard for them.

They had rifts amongst them – Dr Lee said she left home once. What about Hsien Yang who tried to distance himself from his father by changing the spelling of his surname from Lee to Li? This act to separate feels as if to accentuate that he is not his father. A clean slate for his own family. At the dinner table, what do they talk about other than politics and school/work? As the single sister, Dr Lee took on more than her fair share of filial duties. Are all chinese families alike?

An unnatural state

image

I spent a long time dawdling on the floor, deciding which goes where. They resisted being together. It’s sad that in two weeks,  nature will take over. Some will move to where there is more space. There are those will stay, because they are too far behind.

Weekend

C screamed and sobbed. It was more than an hour now. Before this, she was happy, doing word play in the bath. “Mama?”, she would call from her tub. “Ya?”, I would reply looking in.
“Papaya,” she said, “Papaya. Mamaya.”
So incredibly cute.

We ruled out hunger, obvious physical discomfort and fever. B took her for a walk. I could hear her screams floating up to our flat. A came out from the bedroom just in time to hear the screaming. “Can you hear Mei Mei?” I asked. “She’s crying.” He looked concerned, “I want Daddy”.
“Daddy’s with Mei Mei for a walk. Mei Mei is upset. Why is Mei Mei upset?”
“I want Daddy.”

I carried A – his shoes were in the car – and we went down for a walk. I tried not to heave but he’s getting heavy. Her distressed wail floated by. It seem from everywhere and nowhere. We found them finally. She was sobbing so hard, she got sleepy from the effort. A wore a look of distress. “Daddy carry A.” We went over to pat her back to distract him.

At home, all of us sat on my bed while she cried. What is it? We never did find out. It could be teeth because when I asked if her mouth hurts. She cried harder sitting on my lap. A came in, hobbling with a toy racket. “Old man,” he declared of himself. She laughed. We fussed over A who got his sister to stop crying.

I took a nap. In the living room, the kids shriek and laugh. B was making rules for a new game.

Later, I woke up to cover a red velvet cake box cake with frosting. Now it’s not the time to bake from scratch. The timing tests out there that says it’s not much quicker. They forgot skill. Not everybody can knock one up.

Life changes

I was looking for Singaporean mothers who practice baby led weaning when I came across a blog Opinionation, written by Grace. I have been seeking parenting books to learn the right way of parenting. Even though I haven’t properly learnt the skills taught in How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk’, her strong reccomendation of Burton White interests me. I think I will get on Kindle.