0600 to 0830 School run and treatment for my sore back
0830 to 1230 Walk to the repair shop. On my way I saw ordinary folk on their way to work. I felt blue dread looking at them with their heavy bags and burdened shoulders. My watch has kaput says the repair person and quoted me an astronomical price for it to fly to Switzerland. I decided on a DNR for it. Went to get English assessments.
1230 to 1330 Chores and shower.
1345 to 1715 Painting and stretching.
1730 to 1900 Dinner related prep and eating. Homework supervision.
I was in the lift alone at first. At level 10 a man and a woman entered saying loud goodbyes to the crowd outside. Their conversation suddenly dropped to a low voice. The man asked when is retirement for her. By then their voices turn to a whisper. I was in the lift hearing my ears straining at every word. She said, when I can buy an apartment for my son. There was a pause. He looked at her. She barked a short laugh and explained it is a Chinese culture.
The lift door opened at ground floor. They exited and went out of the turnstile, biding farewell in booming cheery voices.
If I am rich at incredibly stupid levels – in that I mean when I look at my bank account my intelligence drops by double digit points yet sales people still fawn on me and laugh at my jokes – I still won’t buy a property in Singapore as part of my portfolio.
I love real estate but the burden of having to clean and upkeep one, to have it trashed by tenants, to have rules changed suddenly and implemented overnight is a major deterrent.
I remember thinking about this in my 20s when I was trying to be a writer, then later trying to work on my Masters thesis in my late twenties. Do I really want to wake up every morning and acknowledge I am a failure?
How very interesting that in learning to paint I encounter this question again.
Now that I am an older and have gained wiles and cunning, l would described as a daily struggle towards greatness, the discipline of a Master. (Gag! Barf! Retch! Yet, its true – why paint the difficulty of struggle worse?)
I cannot understand why I have this strong sense of doom, inability & “I can’t do this” for art only..
I wonder if it stems from my inability to really get it. I cannot understand it because I lack a feeling for art. My feeling is either, “Man, this is awesome!” or “Oh, ok.”
I was watching some tutorials learning how to paint rocks, hills, cliffs. I had a brain wave moment – I totally understand why the artists say that painting to understand the subject. I have always painted or drew a in accounting manner – I have to know where to place the mark. I simply have no feeling about art.
I figured out the feeling is merely and intuition about the subject.
It’s not about the mark placement yet about the mark placement.
If you were going to open up a business, what would you sell?
A old school building where all the classrooms are transformed into hotel rooms selling wellness, painting, meditation or writing resorts. The buildings will have luxury vs minimal spaces. I will hire revolving artists in residence and health and wellness gurus in residence to teach meditation and exercise both secular and non secular. I will serve alcohol even at breakfast. Sunday buffet brunch, Friday BBQ dinner, Saturday high tea buffet will be a weekly thing. Yet, I have separate kitchens for those who do not eat meat from a particular animal, those who do not eat meat at all, those who do not eat meat and things from them. There will be fresh noodles and bread. I will not be environmentally friendly and will install aircon and fans. I will have a garden of orchids and a pond, a shady garden for rabbits and birds to roam and shit freely. I will hire gardeners and animal care takers.
I will have people teaching various forms of chess (International, Xiangqi, Weiqi) and tuition for kids (writing, speech and drama in 4 languages: English, Chinese, Malay, Tamil) while adults are enjoying their quiet retreat or alcohol. The kids will have tuition from morning to night. Religious and moral classes will also bring provided on weekend mornings to kids. When kids have free time they will be made to volunteer as care givers to the elderly while their actual caregivers enjoy their free time. The kids will bunk separate from their parents.
There will not be any available parking because drink, don’t drive.
I have been having difficulties being a parent to one of my kids. He is 12 and so beyond me I am at a lost – we are at a lost. It is a totally alien space.
I am wondering if I parented him wrongly because of some childhood trauma.
I googled and empowering parents said that I should not feel guilty or accept responsibilities for the difficulties he is facing. After all we all learn to get around our difficulties. If he is working on it and trying I can appreciate and support – but if he is not?
headbirth.com 