A whirlwind of I don’t know what happened. I was not painting. I was mainly supporting revision. Homework has dropped off. I worked a full day and a half to finish some slides and sent some chaser emails. Out of habit I almost started to clear emails but caught myself and ignored the new work.

I do feel a sense of anxiety when there is work and a relief when it is over. The relief is easily mistaken for a sense of accomplishment and the anxiety is mainly a fear of being unaccomplished.

I wonder if retirement brings feelings of failure because there is a distinct decline of this emotional yo-yo.