<I was moaning about having to present that day.>

Family: Uh, does your presentation drives strategic decisions that will increase revenue by 15% yoy??

Me: My presentation increases pencil consumption by 23% out of my dept alone.

Globally that number rises to 36%.

To sustain the growth we have planted new forests across deserts in Africa.

Africans love the shade from the trees.

<Lots of lol lol lol later, family continues to grill>

Family: Why are you not installing solar panels around?

Me: In my last iteration of my next presentation, we are planning the implementation of innovative energy solutions using solar panels to generate hot air.