He looked so disappointed on the class live stream I thought it is closer to 30 points. My eyes started to feel wet. I was at work. For the first time, I was feeling sad because my son felt sad.
It’s not great, but was within the range I expected – between 17 to 20 – and he did put in the work to save himself a few points. (Even his best friend in school thought he was making a proper effort.) We discussed school selections, he decided on the inputs.
I think the biggest thing he forgot along the way was how much effort he put in. I wish he is more aware of his achievements. I was signing up for his sports and cca orientation when I discovered he was rather good at his CCA just didn’t make a big deal out of it. He felt he was just being friendly and helping out his friends.
From Norman who writes an audit and risk blog. To be heard and to be seen is encouraged as part of “getting ahead”. A team that is actually working well will just be working without fanfare. Sort of like an experienced artisan just being extremely excellent in their jobs.
Just like end customers, as employees we tend to see management as a single body, working in an orderly manner towards goals they have promised to deliver. That is not the norm really – not even in family business where one might imagine the whole family is working towards more revenue and wealth.
The norm is some volume of “being unsettled” – it could be louder in some places. A management team that is not a real team is the norm because within a team there will be competition to be heard, to be seen. That said, I won’t go so far as to label healthy competition – it’s just the sound energy from working.
Does it ever become dysfunctional? It could when executives try hard at sabotaging each other to the extent that they undermine the firms results as a whole. Yet most firms with a proper scorecard structure can withstand this. A small firm (eg family business) who has less or no support will dragged to a standstill by dysfunction but most founder leaders at this point will sort it out before it goes further by calling it out.
I was reading the responses from everyone who answered this prompt and I wondered why isn’t the answer “whatever I am good at”.
Isn’t it naturally for people like what they easily get high marks for?
Studying has always been a struggle for me. The odd thing is when I became older and nobody was forcing me to study, when I want to do something difficult out of boredom, I picked studying. Studying finance! Incredible, really. I can’t even figure out my own account and balance it. Needless to say it was a pain and I am mostly of the passed after fervent prayer sort. And this is after barely passing my undergrad majoring in accounting and economic history.
It is common for some people to have repeating nightmares. I consistently put myself in those nightmarish situations. I want to go back to school after I am done with work. Just to study again! Economic history and maybe econometrics!
But why? Why do I do things that are hard and I don’t even like them very much ?
Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?
He was almost retiring – 2 years away. I imagine him hurrying towards it encouraging himself as if a runner in another marathon. Almost there – put up with the stress and health issues a bit longer.
The news flew in from all directions that he was hit by a large vehicle. By the afternoon I saw someone post a RIP on Facebook. He was a boss of another unit next to me. I knew him but not as a friend.
How would he have answered before the accident? Would he have said, no, I don’t want to relive any day. I want my days to pass by quicker so that I can breath a sigh of relief. Or perhaps relive a younger time? Or perhaps he would be neutral – neither looking forward nor looking behind.
My mom was hit by colon cancer. It became quite aggressive and she passed about 6 months after her surgery. She did regret working a lot but when she didn’t know she had cancer and we were talking about her retirement, it didn’t sound to me like she wanted to stop working. She didn’t want to travel alone so when she could she went with family and friends. She sings karaoke weekly. She hangs out with grandchildren. So mom did do some of the stuff she likes. If she had more time she would do more of it but it wasn’t the lack of time I think. All of it requires a number of people to agree to do it at that time. Eg the karaoke could be more frequent but then who would do it? Same thing for travel and other stuff. The established routine was once a week and that fit in with her work. She enjoyed the socializing at the petrol kiosk that she worked at. That was the only socializing she could do almost daily.
Thinking about this I am wondering would I redo a part of my life again. I don’t know. I might say yes. I might go back and tell my mom and tell this ex boss, you will die at age XX. From cancer. From an accident. From some thing or other. Stop making trade offs. But what shall I do, they might ask me after they have hit, cursed and swore at me.
Buy bitcoin. Buy apple. Buy Nvidia, I will say. Not with all your money because this Just buy a bit in case it tanks. Watch out for traffic and strange pains. And best of luck.
That your husband, children, father, aunts, cousins maybe have commonalities but this is only a small part of them. Just like you they live their own varied lives rich with experiences.
I asked for a referral for my son to be assessed and was turned down. I took out ADHD 2.0 (Edward M Hallowel and John Ratey) not knowing what else to do. I put it on the headset and continued on my excel.
I began to cry right in the middle of chapter 1. (OMG what if someone telephoned me? Luckily that I was WFH from a sprain!) I felt understood. Like someone knows what is like to be me. Someone explained why I feel that my life seems more difficult, why I feel different from everyone else and why every pursuit of mine turned out to be hideously difficult, why I failed to continue writing novels, why I want to study after I retire, why I want to do art. It even explained why I always try and fail to see what others see me as. It’s like going to a tarot card reader or a psychic to ask about your difficult son and suddenly the psychic tells you everything you have experienced in your life so far.
Yet I can’t link ADHD to me. I did suspect I have ADHD when I was younger. I can’t see myself as a stereotypical ADHD person yet it all makes sense (all those years of paying penalties and late fees, multiple planners and terrifying my husband with the fire left on and mostly picking up difficult things out of boredom). I think it is mainly because I haven’t had serious complaints that it interferes with others expectations of me at work or at school. I don’t feel I annoy anyone with this problem at school or at work. It doesn’t affect me as a normal contributing member of society. It annoys my friends a lot and my husband really a lot. I feel my other nicer parts of my personality make up for this particularly annoying part so it evens out.
So what does it mean to me now that I know I might have ADHD. At this age, I don’t feel it means something. If I was told sometime during the first 35 years of my life it would mean a lot. Most of all it will explain why I feel different during those years where I feel it is important to be the same.
headbirth.com 