Reading: The Mountains Are High by Alex Ash

2020, Dali became the new Italian or French country-side. It became romantic to leave the cities for agriculture, small B&B or just doing nothing more than surviving, rejecting the general markers of being successful.

Alex Ash moved out of Beijing to Dali after a heartbreak. By this time, he said that there was a huge movement in China to move back to the countryside. 30-40 years ago, the move to the cities for better jobs meant they could be richer than their parents. In those days, said my tour driver, he just had to show up in the city and there were people who didn’t care much about education and he was hired to operate something.  

The cities are now places of bad air, high prices, small apartments and  unfamiliar people who move in and out all the time. Most of all, the competition now made it hard to make money. 

The complains I am reading is the same that I see of Singapore on reddit. The complains about PSLE (“children should be children, why high stakes exam”), that boomers made heaps of money buying cheap landed houses (*eye-roll*), wanting early inheritance or for parents to be independently wealthy, the intense desire to stop working by 30 or 40 yet be richer than their peers at the same time, still doing frequent travelling, buying watches and bags to signal moving up the social and economic ladder. The only difference is, we have no countryside. Instead, the young started to fantasize about FIRE.

I find it honestly shocking for me to read about those who have worked to age 30 years announce retirement. It’s not the money. They just started adulting. The noise of ego rushing through their veins are still roaring in their ears. Have they realised that RE is probably the last flex they can shout about?  What will they flex for the next 20 or 30 years?

Maybe it’s an Asian thing. We can’t stop wanting to brag. When in their twilight years, when there is nothing more to brag, Asian parents bring up children’s achievements. It’s not competition ie the desire to one up. It’s to replace a feeling of emptiness – what am I without that thing I was proud of doing? 

I remarked (again)to my friend C that she is way happier after pivoting to her new work. I think this new work place is better than her old workplace even with the longer hours. We were chatting at lunch yesterday. I felt that I have moved into another phase of life where I am no longer fixated in certain things, I said.  She said it was the same for her too. Recently she realised she managed to achieved  lifestyle aims that she wanted when she was younger. It’s not material achievements but stuff such as just being happy and contented with life. More money is always well appreciated but life was ok. She was travelling as often as she could. Her job was fun and interesting. In her private life it was just family and boyfriend.

It made me wonder if I am in the same space she is inhabiting. I should be – writing, reading and painting and I finally got to sit down and watch TV. (We moved the TV to the living room for my husband to watch the football matches.) My friends said that I should exercise more and I have been doing it. I also managed to bring down my sugar level to normal. However, I am still feel a sense of anxiety. Maybe that’s normal. It takes time for the muscle to remember pleasant things.